


Welcome to the Ghostbusters

by Writing-The-Ghostbusters (writingfanfic)



Category: Ghostbusters (2016), Ghostbusters - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Flirting, Meet-Cute, physical examination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 11:55:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13857279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingfanfic/pseuds/Writing-The-Ghostbusters
Summary: For the prompt: 'Can I have Holtzy giving you (f) your first physical as new gb initiate and using it as an excuse to flirt with you'Of course you can, babe.





	Welcome to the Ghostbusters

“Okay, newbie. You are with _me_.”

You smile nervously at the woman before you, who is holding a clipboard in one hand and chewing bubble-gum, and stand up. You really weren’t sure what to expect when you signed up as a ‘research assistant/equipment technician’. This lady was not it.

“My name is Dr. Jillian Holtzmann, but you can call me ‘Mom’, because you will by accident at some point,” she says, and looks back at you, grinning. “Do you have a name? A nickname? An alias? Are you a secret agent?”

“Uh…”

She checks the clipboard.

“(Y/N). Wow. Looking at your age you’re either a genius or this is work experience.” You nod. “Both?” You shake your head rapidly. “It’s both. Don’t be shy here, we don’t need more shy, we have our quota of shy.” She looks you up and down, and smiles. “Well, I will be giving you an examination. A physical one. Are you comfortable with that?”

“Uh… yeah,” you say, slowly, and she grins.

“I am bound by a personal blue-and-orange moral code to tell you that I am gay. I am gay as a parade making its way through the streets of San Francisco in rainbow outfits with two guys making out at the front. I am gayer than… well, actually, anything else would be a stereotype. You still okay with me?”

“Uh, yeah.” You swallow, and then smile a little. “I’m, uh, me too. Well, uh, I’m, uh, bi…”

“Hey!” She grins. “Pride Buddy!” You grin, and she raises her hand for a hi-five. “I would say we should get a parade float but the last time I met a bunch of parade balloons they were trying to murder me and my friends. Welcome to the Ghostbusters…!”

She walks away without you actually hi-fiving her, and you stare for a moment before following her into the little room of the firehouse.

“So… you do not have to take your shirt off, but I personally enjoy it way more if you do. That was a joke. I’ve been told I have to tell people when I’ve made a joke now, because people are assuming I’m serious because I’m frighteningly deadpan.” You sit on the chair. “ _Not that chair_!” You jump up again. “It’s my chair.” You relax. “And it’s probably haunted.”

“Oh.” You swallow nervously. “So… uh… I met Dr. Gilbert yesterday.”

“ _Isn’t she precious?!_ ” Holtzmann pulls a steth out of a drawer, and then a scalpel - she regards it for a worryingly-long time before putting it back, and you begin to wonder exactly what you’ve signed up for. “Okay. So take a deep breath.” You do so. “You’re obedient. Fantastic.” You stare at her. “Breathe out, that’s too obedient. Okay, basically, what I’m gonna do is check you for any paranormally-aberrant signs or symptoms, and if you have any, we might have to do a teeny-tiny exorcism on you.”

“What?” you ask nervously.

“Tank up, we’ve had to exorcise Abby twice this week.” Dr. Holtzmann turns around, wielding a weird, spinning device in one hand and the steth in the other. “ _So_. This is an EMF meter, you’ll make friends with her later.” She scans you up and down. “Okay. Good news! You probably aren’t dead or a ghost, or possessed by one, or in close physical contact with one on the reg.” Your eyes must give away your confusion, because she grins. “You’d be surprised how often that last one pops up.”

“Like…”

“Anyway, moving on, let me listen to your heart. Symptoms of paranormal interference with health and wellbeing often manifest as decreased heart rate, tachycardia, arrhythmic beating, the presence of two or more hearts, and/or heart removal. It’s always good to have a baseline.” She grins. “But you can keep your shirt on. If you want to.” You nod a little, nervously. “Aww… I’m joking. You literally have your own autonomy and don’t have to take your shirt off for anyone.” She checks the chart again and scribbles something down, before taking the steth. “Okay, breath in and out. Deep breaths.” You do so. “Your heart’s a little fast, but I am cute in these overalls, so I’ll mark it down as ‘hot doctor’. Also, you seem to only have the one, but that’s fine.”

You stare at her, and she scribbles something else down.

“Okay, so… you have asthma. That is gonna make carrying the equipment kinda problematic, because these are not fun to carry around, but we’ll keep an eye on you, try and modify the stuff.” She beams at you. “Your breathing sounded fine, perfectly normal for a human with two lungs.”

“…you’ve seen some… stuff, haven’t you,” you tactfully self-censor, and she nods.

“You are gonna have a _great time_. Okay, this is just a basic physical, I’m not your GP, I’m a doctor but not a medical doctor…” You look at her again, and she keeps staring at the clipboard. “So… you know. I’m not looking for whether or not you’re gonna keel over and die, just whether you have a ghost inhabiting your liver. You allergic to anything? Garlic? Holy water? Iron?” You shake your head. “I diagnose you as human. Okay, that’s pretty much it, the rest will be on-the-job observation work…”

“Hey, Holtzy?” You turn, and a woman has her head through the door, with a sensible brown bun and gorgeous horn-rimmed glasses. “I’m… oh, hey, new recruit! I’m Abby Yates, awesome to meet you… do you drive?”

“Uh, no,” you say, and she sighs.

“Holtzy, I need someone to pick up the food order, and Kevin’s the only one here who isn’t me or you. Can you go?” She looks at you. “I didn’t order anything for you but it’s a banquet so if they don’t screw it up there should be enough…”

“Sure thing, Abs.” Holtzmann winks at you, and sashays past; you watch her go, and blink a few times, before looking at Abby, who smiles at you.

“She is always like that, no, it isn’t ghost-related, and you will learn to love her. She’s very lovable.” You nod slowly, and watch as she goes. She’s intense, sure. But you like her. A little bit. You think it might be the overalls.


End file.
